Jan. 21, 2002

"It was a big one, huh?" I overheard one elderly man say to the other outside Catawba Pharmacy in downtown Belmont, NC.

"Oh yeah," came the reply. "He almost bought the farm."

Ah! There it was! A cool phrase! "He almost bought the farm." That was just what I needed to spice up my descriptions of various ballgames on WCGC AM 1270. I was 22 years old, just out of college and trying to take as big a bite out of the sportscasting profession as my limited experience and talent would allow.

Somebody buying the farm sounded musical and melodic to my ears, and even though I had no idea whatsoever what it meant, the phrase definitely sounded air-worthy. Buying the farm must be something big, I got the gist of that from the old guys outside the drug store. I considered asking somebody to explain the meaning to me, but since I didn't want to come across as dumb or anything I thought I'd just work it into everyday conversation a few times first before using it on the radio.

After a few days of getting strange looks from people when I offhandedly mentioned a close brush with farm buying, the perfect use for that unique collection of words hit me. Every well-known baseball announcer had his signature home run call. Starting with that nights live American Legion baseball broadcast on WCGC, mine would be buying the farm!

"Rabbit Richards swings and there is a long drive to deep left-center field," I hollered into the mic. "Back, back, and RICHARDS HAS BOUGHT THE FARM!!!"

The next day at the offices of WCGC, Mary Ann, our receptionist, came back to my cubicle and told me that Mr. Gantt wanted to see me. Ebb Gantt was the station manager and something of a legend in Gaston County. An outstanding football player and boxer in his day, Ebb was also an excellent sportscaster for many decades before getting a bit too old and heavy to be lugging equipment up stadium stairs and working every weekend.

"You wanted to see me, Mr. Gantt," I said as I tapped on the door of his office and walked in. At over 300 pounds and with a voice as deep and rich as a fine cello, Mr. Gantt could be an imposing figure. He was known for his gentle manner and friendly style but at the same time you didn't want to be on his bad side.

"Sit down, Mickey," Mr. Gantt said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his massive chest. "I want to ask you a question. Do you know what "bought the farm" means?

"Of course I do," I began confidently. "It means to.......well, um, it is kind of like when one person does something that is kind of big or important in some way and......uh, no sir. I guess I don't know what it means."

"Well if you don't know what means, then why are you using it on the air?"

"Oh, THAT! Heh heh heh. Well, I thought that it would make a good home run....I mean it sounded like it might be a good way to say......um, I'm sorry sir. I guess I don't know why I am using it on the air."

With that, Ebb Gantt leaned forward, put both elbows on the desk and clasped his fingers together.

"Mickey, if somebody 'buys the farm', it means they have died, expired, croaked, passed on, kicked the bucket, breathed their last, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! I've gotten three calls today from people who think that boy had a heart attack as he was rounding the bases last night."

And then Mr. Gantt uttered one of the cleanest, most economical, most profound pieces of advice I have ever heard or hope to hear.

"Only use words you know the meaning of."

So obvious is this statement that it seems silly now to have just typed it! But who among us hasn't, in the heat of composition, written or said something that fails the test?

In my Sports Journalism class at Carolina, a student just this past semester wrote; "it would be who of me to start working on my resume." (He meant, "behoove")

Another student wrote; "for all intensive purposes, Title IV has been effective." (The phrase is, "for all intents and purposes")

And still another student described a confident friend of hers as having great "shuts pass." (She meant "chutzpa")

When I read those, I laughed so hard I nearly bought the farm.